Life can be such a bizarre mess at times right?
One moment, you are expecting a huge change. The next moment it surprises you by flinging a completely unexpected event back again and you are just left confused.
It can really mess you up in your head if you try to understand the "why's"; it will be a real distraction. People come and go, people do things and don't do things and it can leave you absolutely puzzled.
The real key lesson here is to remember that life is always for you, not against you. Also, this reality we live in is just a perception and not genuine reality. We are literally restricted by our senses and what our body conjures based upon our these biological sensors.
I studied physics at A-Level and one thing that always fasinated me was the idea of quantum tunnelling. This is which blows our false perception of reality completely out of the water. This video explains it in more details...
it should be obvious from here that may be we aren't designed to understand the truth in the universe. We don't have the physical tools naturally to comprehend everything that is going on and the big question is: Do we need to?
We often say "Curiousity killed the Cat" well I say this can't be more true. By asking too many questions in life, we develop the urge to answer them and that urge can destroy us. We simply cannot explain everything that is going on in life externally to us or unusual unexpected events and we don't need to!
The key matter is, this universe cannot be explained and even physics tends to be more of an "Average" where the rules of physics are just our best explanation we can come up with. The reason why this cannot be explained is because...
NONE OF THIS UNIVERSE ACTUAL EXISTS!
As this universe is only a projection of signals in your mind, you gradually stop trying to explain it and start focusing on what really matters and that is you.
You matter more than anything externally as the external doesn't exist. The external is a distraction to force you away from finding who you really are internally. The more you stop looking outside of yourself and the more you go within you'll find it causes the biggest sense of peace and truth you will ever experience in life!
There is only internal transformation, nothing exists outside of your mind so stay detached from anything external and focus on your spirit and that of which created it!
Don't try to explain events, people or their decisions... all they are is a distraction from you. Be of self and let the universe guide you into a better life putting the creator above all else!
There's something to be said about being at peace within.
Our minds and internal state truely create our reality. Many people know of this but don't know this. It is only when you truely recognise and maintain this peace that you can get out of your way.
Forgiveness is so tricky to understand as naturally we are designed to remember traumatic events to help us avoid them again. Quite literally, it is human-nature NOT to forgive and certainly NOT to forget. We are built physiologically and mentally in the flesh to survive and that involves a certain social system to survive.
Many people do not realise but despite our best intentions, we are still 80% emotionally-driven beings. Emotions play such an enomous role in motivating us in life. These same emotions can also destroy us. Our emotions cause chaos, degenerative behaviours and can even lead to self-harm. Yet, when you consider it in more detail it is YOUR internal state and only YOU are causing these emotions.
Forgive, but it's okay to not forget
One of the key battles that hijacks our emotions and triggers irrational behaviours is incidents that require forgiveness. We may feel abused, betrayed, hijacked, unappreciated and untrusting that the person will not do this again to us. Some people will say the line to "forgive and forget", but have you ever asked why that emotion comes into our head so powerfully in the first place?
The answer is to protect us from this happening again in the future.
Screw forgive and forget, there's a reason why you feel this way! However, you have to decide if the emotion part is helping you or hindering you in life. With the emotional side of forgiveness, and jealousy, the answer is it definitely isn't helping you. So forgive emotionally... after all it is only you that you are hurting mainly.
Although, forgetting is something all together different. Do I even think you should forget and the answer is often "no". It is correct to remember past events as it may help protect you in the future, or even prepare your mind for a similar event. Here is the thing though, should it interfere too much in what could be?
No again. I feel this comes to embracing our vulnerability as men. One of the most powerful thoughts you can have is to recognise people will hurt you in life and you will be emotionally ruined for a while, the key thing is... that is okay! It is okay to feel this way and okay to be hurt as that is life. It is okay to put ourselves in emotionally vulnerable social situations as this will allow us to experience in life and potentially grow.
It is often said that emotional pain is love: it heals us and helps us grow. Some also say that it is only by hitting rock bottom that we stop looking down and start looking up again. Emotional Pain triggers deep change in us and can allow a period of immense transformational growth.
So, concluding thoughts are to control emotions in life, forgive (forgetting is optional) and embrace our emotional vulnerability recognise we may experience "pain" but it is a normal everyday state and to embrace it as it can trigger great changes in life fueling us to better places.
Welcome emotional pain if it arrives, use it well as a tool and grow stronger as a person! Let the good times roll....
Choices in life are potentially the most difficult things to sometimes go through, especially at the points of major change.
Naturally, as human beings our bodies resists physical and mental change. Science calls it homeostasis. It's the idea of our bodies keeping it's current state because this current state is what has kept us alive. We are living now so why change things?
The problem, with this of course, is social changes absolutely destroy us.
I was on Facebook a few moments ago, and the LifeCoach, Comedian and TV presenter Steve Harvey came on my feed. He started talking about one key bit of wisdom. This is generally the idea that trust in something more powerful than you.
He started discussing the idea of sometimes doors can close on you.
It hurts going through such a change, being kicked out of the current reality. It sucks. You naturally go through a rollercoaster of emotions thinking are they getting back with you? Did you make the right choice? What even triggered this in the first place? Why me? Why do I deserve this?
You have anger, hate, loss and depression all at the same time. You just don't know how to think or feel. In moments like this though, all you can do is recognised that life has closed that door because at the end of the dark alleyway, at the end of this cold, ruthless and heartless place, there is an open door waiting for your next chapter.
We naturally want to resist this, but it simply is the case that perhaps you are meant to go down a different path. A path with more life and light. A better path that leads you to places more incredible than you could ever imagine.
If the original door re-opens, then perhaps it's your turn to go back. However, even children go out to play before being called back home!
The most important thing to consider as one closes is look at the opportunities life gives you right now. Look at the love of the universe and how it feeds you everything you need to proceed and exceed what you thought was possible. Life, God and Universe are so much more wise and powerful than you could ever imagine and you would do better trusting in the wisdom of such power over your own!
Strengthen your faith and don't let your own ego get in the way of such a beautiful life that is ahead of you. Trust, ask and the universe will provide... after all... you are the universe too!
I wish to publically declare thanks to friends, contacts, colleagues, neighbours and everyone and anyone else I have and continue to interact with. You have shaped my life and many continue to do so.
Thank you for such love and I look forward to what life brings moving forward trusting in things more powerful than me that will get the job done!
To an amazing 2021!!!
There's something to be said about change, change is tough but if change is forced upon you then all you can do is ride the waves along the way.
Today I changed the locks on my front and back door retaking full control of my house. It is from this point only I and my parents can enter this address.
Part of me was really hoping it didn't come down to this, however this seems to be the path I am being forced down so my role is just to trust in something bigger than me and embrace it riding the waves instead of resisting.
I feel really sad saying this as I genuinely like the person and we did get along, however she made a choice to push me away and disregard all the good times we had together. I respect her and appreciate the times we had together and I really don't want to do this but it's time to emotionally disconnect.
Throughout the relationship, I comprimised wherever I could and by doing so all it did was made her take more. I had forgiven her time and time again for various things which she took for granted and seemed like she started doing more and more. I really wanted to make it work but my assumption now looking back is as soon as she felt like it was settling, she started detaching. It seemed to be as soon as I was moving into a house and she ran the real likelihood of moving in with me it all of a sudden turned. I wonder if she just wasn't ready to settle down and the idea just scared her. Looking back, I now believe she just wanted friendship and some company!
Whichever guy she gets with next, I really hope for his sake and hers that she has spent more time to discover herself as in independent adult first.
The curious thing is, would I get back with her in the future? Surprisingly the answer is yes (shock) but only after she finds herself a little more and is ready to settle down in a more serious relationship. We really did work together and that is why this is such a hard breakup. Part of me still finds this bizarre and I don't think that will ever leave me!
On the off chance you are reading this, no hard feelings whatsoever and I wish you the best of luck on your journey of life moving forward! Best wishes.
To everyone else, keep in touch on this blog and comment below...
You may have heard it be said that the perfect life is because of perfect days. Perfect days are simply an outcome of perfect rituals or routines you do consistantly.
One of the key messages I got from the book OWN THE DAY, OWN YOUR LIFE: OPTIMISED PRACTICES FOR WAKING, WORKING, LEARNING, EATING, TRAINING, PLAYING, SLEEPING AND SEX by Aubrey Marcus (on audible) is the idea that the variables that make up your life interact with each other and cannot be separated.
He explains in his book that every variable in your day interacts with each other thus you should consider everything in your day as a whole. For example, if you wake up after having little sleep, you will be sluggish and may have a crap breakfast as you feel it will boost your mood. You eat your unhealthy sugary breakfast before getting in the shower. You become even sleepier after the shower and sit down to try and rest a little bit. Because of this rest, you fail to exercise to boost your mood and fail to journal due to time constraints. You end up having not enough energy to tidy and clean the house and have to rush to work. At work, you have a bad day all because of your lack of ability to apply yourself and finish in a grumpy mood. You come home to a dirty, unclean house which affects you further and you end up skipping your evening meal due to feeling too tired to eat. You go to bed ill-minded and have one of the most unproductive days of your life which carrys on this downward spiral.
Instead of thinking about having the perfect diet or perfect exercise routine, you need to look at EVERYTHING and do it all on 1 perfect day.
Sometimes, a little bit of wisdom can do wonders...
If you are stuck in the same place, simply just start moving anywhere then adjust your direction over time! If you need to move on, move onwards...
Since I decided to start looking up after hitting rock bottom, I have re-expanded my network so much I have ended up talking once again to an old childhood friend who lives in Kansas City, Kansas, USA.
We go back as far as teenage years after meeting on chatroutlette at the time. The talks and conversations we had were insane and she even painted me a lion and sent it to me as part of her art.
The key thing here to comment on is the idea of getting momentum in areas of networking, even if it is just online (thanks COVID), has helped socially.
One question begs to be answered, what else could I get moving with?
I think I need a more thorough battle plan for 2021. I'll get the whiteboard out now, let's go!
it amazes me how things can be so cyclical in life.
Yet again, another failed relationship but I genuinely wonder what happened. Considering that the only variable that stayed the same in both of these relationships was me... I know I am to blame.
Saying that, I am reflecting back on my choices of Women. When I met my ex, she was under-confident, timid, incapable, couldn't even speak to a waiter on a meal out to order her food she was that under-confident and yet several years later she has grown substantially.
I am a Christian and I am starting to think my role was never to be with her indefinitely but instead just to help her grow as a human being and I seem to have done that really well! She is 10x the person she was when we first met and I can take pride in knowing how much I have helped another human being along the way.
Part of me feels sorry for her now due to a death of a close family member, she has changed her energy and tone although it seems to be going better than I thought. I hope she pulls through!
I need to stop doing this, stop finding people to fix and start finding people to compliment my life instead!
Of course, I still have internal issues myself and perhaps they need to be resolved before I go looking for a partner to compliment my life hence this journey of 2021 and the blog has begun. This will be an incredible year to find myself, grow, develop, gain confidence and truely succeed.
Here's to a new year, new me and new life. Let the good times roll!!!